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Monday, February 8, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Self-Inflicted Violence: Helping Those Who Hurt Themselves
Self-Inflicted Violence: Helping Those Who Hurt Themselves
by Tracy Alderman, Ph.D.
After having an awful day at work and an even worse time fighting the traffic to come home, Joan wanted nothing more than to sit down on her couch, turn on the television, order out for pizza and relax for the rest of the evening. But when Joan walked into the kitchen, what she saw indicated that this would not be the evening of her dreams. Standing in front of the sink was her fourteen year old daughter, Maggie.
Maggie's arms were covered with blood, long slashes on her forearms dripping fresh blood into the running water of the kitchen sink. A single edged razor blade sat on the counter along with several once-white towels, now stained crimson by Maggie's own blood. Joan dropped her briefcase and stood before her daughter in silent shock, unable to believe what she saw.
It is likely that many of you have had a similar experience and reaction to learning of the self-injurious activities of a loved one. This article is intended to provide some support, advice, and education to those of you who have friends and family who engage in activities of self-inflicted violence.
Self-Inflicted Violence: The Basics
Self-Inflicted Violence (SIV) is best described as the intentional harm of one's own body without conscious suicidal intent. Most types of SIV involve cutting of one's own flesh (usually the arms, hands, or legs), burning one's self, interfering with the healing of wounds, excessive nail biting, pulling out one's own hair, hitting or bruising one's self, and intentionally breaking one's own bones.
SIV is more common than you might think with roughly 1% of the general population engaging in these behaviors (and this is likely to be greatly underestimated). The explanations for why people intentionally injure themselves are numerous and diverse. However, most of these explanations indicate that SIV is used as a method of coping and tends to make life more tolerable (at least temporarily).
How Can I Help Those Who Are Hurting Themselves?
Unfortunately, there is no magic cure for self-inflicted violence. However, there are some things which you can do (and some things you shouldn't do) which can help those individuals who are hurting themselves. Keep in mind though, that unless someone wants your help, there is nothing in the world that you can do to assist that individual.
Talk About Self-Inflicted Violence
SIV exists whether you talk about it or not. As you know, ignoring anything does not make it disappear. The same is true with self-inflicted violence: it will not go away because you are pretending it doesn't exist.
Talking about self-inflicted violence is essential. Only through open discussions of SIV will you be able to help those who are hurting themselves. By addressing the issues of self-injury you are removing the secrecy which surrounds these actions.
You are reducing the shame attached to self-inflicted violence. You are encouraging connection between you and your self-injuring friends. You are helping to create change just by the mere fact that you are willing to discuss SIV with the person who performs those behaviors.
You may not know what to say to the individual who is performing acts of SIV. Fortunately, you don't have to know what to say. Even by acknowledging that you want to talk, but you're not sure how to proceed, you are opening the channels of communication.
Be Supportive
Talking is one way to provide support, however, there are numerous other ways to show your support to another. One of the most helpful ways by which to determine how you could offer support is to directly ask how you might be helpful. In doing so, you might find that your idea of what is helpful is vastly different from how others view what is helpful. Knowing what kind of assistance to offer and when to offer it is necessary in order to be helpful.
Although it may be difficult for you, it is really important that in being supportive you keep your negative reactions to yourself. Because judgments and negative responses contrast with support, you will need to put these feelings aside for the time being. You can only be supportive when you act in supportive ways.
This is not to say that you should not or will not have judgments or negative reactions to SIV. However, conceal these beliefs and feelings while you are performing helpful behaviors. Later, when you are not assisting your friend, go ahead and release these thoughts and emotions.
Be Available
Most individuals who injure themselves, will not do so in the presence of others. Therefore, the more you are with those individuals who hurt themselves, the less opportunity they will have to inflict self-harm. By offering your company and your support, you are actively decreasing the likelihood of SIV.
Many people who hurt themselves have difficulty recognizing or stating their own needs. Therefore, it is helpful for you to offer the ways in which you are willing to help. This will allow your friends to know when and in what ways they are able to rely on you.
You will need to set and maintain clear and consistent limits with your self-injuring friends. Thus, if you are not willing to take crisis calls after nine in the evening, than indicate this to your friends. If you can only offer support over the telephone, rather than in person, be clear about that.
When individuals need support around issues of SIV, they need to know who is available to help them and in what manner they can offer help. While what you do for your friends is important, establishing and maintaining appropriate boundaries is equally necessary for the relationship (and your own sanity).
Don't Discourage Self-Injury
Although this may seem difficult and irrational, it is important for you to not discourage your friends or family from engaging in acts of self-inflicted violence. Rules, shoulds, shouldn'ts, dos and don'ts all limit us and place restrictions on our freedom. When we maintain the right to choose, our choices are much more powerful and effective.
Telling an individual to not injure herself is both aversive and condescending. Because SIV is used as a method of coping and is often used as an attempt to relieve emotional distress when other methods have failed, it is essential for the person to have this option.
Most individuals would choose to not hurt themselves if they could. Although SIV produces feelings of shame, secrecy, guilt and isolation, it continues to be utilized as a method of coping. That individuals will engage in self-injurious behaviors despite the many negative effects is a clear indication of the necessity of this action to their survival.
Although it may be incredibly difficult to witness a loved one's fresh wounds, it is really important that you offer support, and not limits, to that individual.
Recognize the Severity of the Person's Distress
Most people don't self-injure because they're curious and wonder what it would be like to hurt themselves. Instead, most SIV is the result of high levels of emotional distress with few available means to cope. Although it may be difficult for you to recognize and tolerate, it is important that you realize the extreme level of emotional pain individuals experience surrounding SIV activities.
Open wounds are a fairly direct expression of emotional pain. One of the reasons why individuals injure themselves is so that they transform internal pain into something more tangible, external and treatable. The wound becomes a symbol of both intense suffering and of survival. It is important to acknowledge the messages sent by these scars and injuries.
Your ability to understand the severity of your friend's distress and empathize appropriately will enhance your communication and connection. Don't be afraid to raise the subject of emotional pain. Allow your friends to speak about their inner turmoil rather than express this turmoil through self-damaging methods.
Get Help For Your Own Reactions
Most of us have had the experience at some point in our lives of feeling distressed by our reactions to someone else's behavior. Al Anon and similar self-help groups were created to help the friends and families of individuals dealing with problems of addiction and similar behaviors.
At this point in time no such organizations exist for those coping with a loved one's SIV behaviors.
However, the basic premise upon which these groups were designed clearly applies to the issue of self-inflicted violence. Sometimes the behavior of others affects us in such a profound manner that we need help in dealing with our reactions. Entering psychotherapy to deal with your responses to SIV is one such way to handle the reactions which you may find to be overwhelming or disturbing.
You may find it strange to seek help for someone else's problem. However, the behaviors of others can have profound effects on us. This effect is further strengthened by the mysteriousness, secrecy, and misconceptions about self-inflicted violence.
Thus, entering psychotherapy (with a knowledgeable clinician) can educate you about SIV as well as assist you in understanding and altering your own reactions. When you learn that a friend or family member is injuring herself, you are likely to have an intense emotional reaction and psychotherapy will help you deal with these reactions.
Sometimes asking for help is really difficult. The individuals who have come to you telling you of their SIV and asking for your help are highly aware of this. Follow in their path. If you need (or want) help, get it. Seek a trained professional. Ask some friends for support. Speak with a religious counsel if that's helpful.
Whatever you need to do in order to take care of yourself, do it. You have to take care of yourself before you can assist another. When trying to help friends and family members who are injuring themselves, this point is critical. We cannot be of much use to anyone else if we, ourselves are in a state of need.
About the Author:
Tracy Alderman, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist residing in San Diego, California. She is the Director of Research at the University for Humanistic Studies and an adjunct instructor at Chapman University. She is also a staff psychologist for the California Department of Corrections. Dr. Alderman is currently writing a book on the topic of self-inflicted violence.
Originally published 4/15/98
Revised 04/29/2009 by Marlene M. Maheu, Ph.D.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Theories on Human Evolution
Saturday, January 16, 2010
REPORT: LNHS 2nd Year Dept. Relief Giving Operation
“Delubyo” as the locality of Lumban would call it, Bagyong Ondoy massively destroyed majority of the Laguna’s rich natural resources last October of 2009. Indeed a year’s quarter to dredge up tragic memories of once Philippines’ pride for tourism and agricultural richness.
The town of Lumban is no exception; moreover, Lumban National High School’s bedrock as the only public high school in town was devastated by huge amount of flood along the coastal roads of Barangay Wawa. Bulk of water lily and enormous pile of garbage were dump together with mound of mud blocked the street of General Luna which is the only way to school for both students and faculty.
Soon after two weeks of putting back together the damaged houses and properties classes resumed notwithstanding high waters along the path of Wawa. Another problem faced every students and teachers as they crawl up the bangkas of fisherman trying to continue and make up for the lost days of classes.
Calling the attention of the administrators, they meet up and try to extend their deepest help by answering the problem posted by the calamity – reviving the Brigada Eskwela Part II. This targets the severely affected victims of the typhoons and gather networks of help though the involvement of the school and the community.
In response, Relief Giving Operation of the Second Year Department of Lumban National High School is advocated to provide necessary needs of the students and their families. Several collections of in-kind donations and monetary solicitations were geared up to answer the call of the season.
A success! Early morning of Friday flag ceremony was a day to commemorate as students, victims and teachers hand in hand in extending help to every members of the school. A total of 81 students were given relief packs containing canned good, noodles and used clothing were disseminated. Students were sent home that morning brining goods of good news to their families.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
• MR. NILO Y. DE ROBLES
Principal II, Lumban National High School
• THE FACULTY AND STAFF OF SECOND YEAR DEPARTMENT
Mr. Rolly B. Caidic
Mrs. Rowena L. Leobrera
Mrs. Jenny Robale
Mrs. Lyn V. Cacalda
Mrs. Zeny B. Baldemora
• PARENTS AND GUARDIANS
• SECOND YEAR STUDENTS and CLASS OFFICERS
• AND TO ALL WHO HELPED FOR THE SUCCESS OF THIS PROGRAM
SCOPE OF WORK DONE
• Repairing and maintenance of the school properties and facilities
• Solicitations and in-kind donations
• Repacking of the relief goods
• Relief giving operations and distribution
HOW DO I SEE EVOLUTION?
It’s the story of life in our planet.
As we dig deeper and collect evidences around us, we tried to gather as much information as possible on ways how we could explain the real reason of how life started on earth and how life on earth has changed through time. How did plants and animals come about? How did the first living cells appear? These are just some of the few questions in our minds that we tried to search for an answer for us to realize our oneness with the rest of the creation in our planet.
Evolution is a complex process by which the characteristics of living organisms change over many generations as traits are passed from one generation to the next. The science of evolution seeks to understand the biological forces that caused ancient organisms to develop into the tremendous and ever-changing variety of life seen on Earth today. The way Encarta Encyclopaedia explains it; it only appears that the definition of ‘evolution’ is as complex as the word itself, it addresses how, over the course of time, various plant and animal species branch off to become entirely new species, and how different species are related through complicated family trees that span millions of years.
Hundreds of debates have flocked biology books on ways how we could trace intricate branches of organisms and how they were related with each other maybe because we only rely on evidences that would validate reality from make-believe. Up to this modern era, evolution of facts is still being altered and transformed into a piece of information that everyone would accept. From monkeys to humans, cockroaches from ancient times, dinosaurs, lochness monsters, unexplained creatures, these are all pieces of the puzzle that we tried to solve. And evolution seems to address all of these.
As life continues on earth, the story of evolution never ends. Our technological era never stops, as we go forward into the future, we also tried to go beyond the past and relate how these affect our present. The only constant thing in this world is change, true enough, facts would change, and by tomorrow there may be lots of new theories and facts that would shake the edifice of science and even evolution. There are thousands of ways how we could explain the existence of life on earth but, let us all remember that “it doesn’t matter how long you live your life... what matters is how well you live it and for whom you live it with”.
Her Name
Might fallback but I won’t abandon
All traces of her keep me holding on
Righteous love never dies for it reckon
Regretting her is not the solution
All that is left is an unanswered hope
Mark of forgiveness and elucidation
Yet delusional that love never slope
Amity of chances is for us with faith
Remained tranquil in our silent trait
Yesterday’s a past, tomorrow’s a bait
Much happiness for her is what I wait
Memories of her preoccupy my mind
Yearning her sweet smile and hair wind
Render those eyes, breathe my existence
Awe of her shove me into intense eloquence
Science Department Narrative Report
Science Department
NARRATIVE REPORT
January – March 2009
I. Introduction
Embarking its new insignia, Lumban National High School continues to bring forth excellence in secondary education equally in academic and extracurricular activities for this year’s first quarter. Elevating essential developments in trilogy of focal areas such as students, curriculum and staff, its mission envisions a full throttle of its science and technology engines.
As renascent as its new name, the visionary leadership of its Principal Nilo Y. De Robles calibrated student’s performance thru intensive school-based management. Faculty enhancement trainings were implemented and reechoed to outbrave the challenges of modern-day curriculum.
Programs and projects have fully met the final output catering its target clienteles from first year to fourth year high school students. Strategies using modules, peer teachings, conferences, assessments and evaluations were parallel to the needs of the students.
II. Goals / Objectives
The following are targets and objectives employed under the action plan in science and technology for the school year 2008 – 2009 under the last quarter of January to March 2009.
· to develop the student’s achievement level in Science and Technology
· to establish science organization
· to instill environmental awareness
· to develop a teaching module
· to learn more on how to teach Science and Technology effectively and efficiently
III. Accomplishments
Students:
Students’ performances were improved by 53% showed on last March’s final departmental examination results. Established Science Clubs from first year to fourth year have developed scientific attitudes, awareness of environmental problems and solutions, leadership and responsibility among students.
Curriculum:
Improvement of the teaching – learning situation inside the classroom were bring into line as selected science faculty members did some research works. “Involvement of Students in Magic Activities in Physics” by Ms. Julie Ann Natividad was introduced to fourth year students to engage them in learning science and technology IV while having fun. “Dissection Handbooks on Selected Indigenous Plants and Animals” were performed by the second year students for the application of morphology, coordinated by Mr. Rolly Caidic for science and technology II.
Staff:
Mastery of the subject matter in science was upgraded since January. Continuous education by some faculty members improved their teaching science and technology more effectively and efficiently. Ms. Julie Ann Natividad is currently attending Ph.D in Science Education at the Philippine Normal University where she is already obtained a total of 36 units. While Mr. Rolly Caidic under the scholarship of Congressman Edgar San Luis of fourth district is still pursuing his Diploma in Science Teaching, Major in Biology at the University of the Philippines Open University where he is now enrolled as a 2nd year.
Attending seminars are essential in keeping up with the modern trends in science and technology. Constec Seminar in Physics last February 19-20 and Chemistry last February 26-27 was attended by two faculty members Ms. Julie Ann D. Natividad (fourth year) and Mrs. Victoria R. Almario (third year) respectively.
IV. Problems Met / Encountered
With the National Achievement Test became upfront for the last quarter of this year, rigorous and intensive reviews every Saturdays and several remedial classes were done every afternoon from Mondays to Fridays.
Major problem resurfaced as pre-tests revealed low performances in science and technology. One of the findings suggests that poor comprehension and problem analysis were the reasons why students failed the preliminary exams.
Lack of school facilities and laboratory apparatuses also affects student’s learning and performances during laboratory experiments and activities. Thus, science investigatory projects were only introduced to fourth year students but failed to materialize.
V. Suggestions / Recommendations
Why research?
It is for the intellectual challenge? Or is it to make the world a better place?
Margarita Alegria believes that science researchers must change their focus “from a science of recommendation to a science of implementation.”
The core focus of science evolves in three folds – knowledge, process and application. The distance between the people who produce the information and the people who use the information is vast. We do not do much to minimize this distance—not even asking if the information we are producing will be valuable to the end-users. We basically produce the evidence and go on to the next research problem.
Prepared by:
ROLLY B. CAIDIC
Science Teacher
N O T E D :
ROSALINA P. GARCIA
Head Teacher III
Genetic Engineering doesn’t address world food problem and malnutrition
Genetic Engineering doesn’t address world food problem and malnutrition
One of the more current and controversial issue in the field of biotechnology is the use of bioengineering in food production. Personally, I would not support the use of genetic engineering in food production based on the several reasons I will present in my position paper. I do not think that scientists should be able to use their knowledge and social prestige in society to be able to play the role of God in creating new or better living things even if their justification is for the purpose of serving mankind.
SOCIAL, POLITICAL AND ECONOMIC CONCERNS
Supporters of this technology (Genetic Engineering) maintain that it ensures and sustains food security around the world as the population increases. As time goes on, the science behind genetic engineering is no doubt improving. Biotechnology could be the wave of the future and genetically modified foods could really provide alternatives to help increase food production. However, there is a growing wave of concern from citizens, farmers and scientists who question the way the research is currently being handled by a few large, profit-hungry corporations.
Critics believe:
• The problem of food shortages is a political and economic problem.
• Food shortages and hunger are -- and will be -- experienced by the poorer nations.
• GE Food is an expensive technology that the farmers of the developing nations would not be able to afford easily.
• Patenting laws go against the poor around the world and allow biotech companies to benefit from patenting indigenous knowledge often without consent.
• This is a very young and untested technology and may not be the answer just yet.
• Crop uniformity, which the biotech firms are promoting, will reduce genetic diversity making them more vulnerable to disease and pests. This furthers the need for pesticides (often created by the same companies creating and promoting genetically engineered crops).
Hence this leads to questions of the motives of corporations and countries who are using the plight of the developing world as a marketing strategy to gain acceptance of GE food as well as dependency upon it via intellectual property rights. A quick acceptance of GE foods without proper testing etc. could show corporate profitability to be very influential, while a thorough debate and sufficient public participation would ensure that real social and environmental concerns are in fact adhered to.
There is also the issue of do we actually need genetically engineered food, given that agriculture in small biodiverse farms are actually very productive. World hunger is extensive in spite of sufficient global food resources. Therefore increased food production is no solution. The problem is that many people are too poor to buy readily available food. Therefore measures solving the poverty problem is what is required to solve the world hunger problem.
I would like to point out an important factor that “many people in the world are suffering from malnutrition and hunger because they cannot afford to buy food, not because it is unavailable.” As highlighted in the poverty and hunger part, most of the causes of hunger are found in global politics, rather than issues of agriculture and technology (though of course those causes do exist too). As a result, a variety of groups and people are questioning the motives behind biotechnology as the political causes of hunger appear to be ignored.
An article from Miguel A. Altieri and Peter Rosset “Ten reasons why biotechnology will not ensure food security, protect the environment and reduce poverty in the developing countries” makes the observation that “most innovations in agricultural biotechnology have been profit-driven rather than need-driven” and it questions whether GE technology will really ensure food security, protect the environment and reduce poverty in the developing world. And with GE Food being an expensive technology, that does not help the case, either. Also, in some cases, it has been noted that some GE crop yields are less than conventional crops.
“Genetically engineered crops were created not because they're productive but because they're patentable. Their economic value is oriented not toward helping subsistence farmers to feed themselves but toward feeding more livestock for the already overfed rich” as stated by Amory and Hunter Lovins, Founders of the Rocky Mountain Institute in their article “Are Genetically Altered Foods The Answer to World Hunger?”
The majority of the poor and malnourished in the world depend directly or indirectly on agriculture for their livelihoods – making it essential for small farmers in developing countries such as our country, Philippines, to become more productive. Simply increasing food production is not the only answer, as there are many political, economic and social factors that play a part. Indeed, solutions do not necessarily require additional production, as much as addressing political and economic causes of inequality and hunger.
MORAL AND ETHICAL CONCERNS
However, despite all of its advantages in creating better crops, many people are very skeptical about its safetiness and possible long-term health effects. Moreover, the social issue lies deep in the realm of ethical and moral concerns. Many people feel that scientists might have gone too far in terms of experimentation. We have now come to the end of the familiar pathway of leaving everything to the creation of Mother Nature.
With the rise of advanced technology in genetics, scientists now possess the ability to manipulate genes, and redirect the course of evolution. They can reassemble old genes and devise new ones. They can plan, and with computer simulation, anticipate the future forms and paths of life. Hence, the old ways of evolution will be dwarfed by the role of purposeful human intelligence.
However, just as nature stumbled upon life billions of years ago and began the process of evolution, so too would the new creators of life find that living organisms all have a destiny of their own. To evaluate the validity of the benefits of this technology, we need to answer three simple questions: Is it safe, is it wise, is it moral? (Sinsheimer 1987).
I believe that scientists’ knowledge is still very limited in trying to understand what led to these organisms' existence and modes of adaptation. Thus scientists cannot really predict whether all their new discoveries and creations might somehow lead to a new and unexpected group of harmful species since potential organisms that could be converted by one or more mutations be transformed from harmless bugs to serious risks.
Finally, to answer the question of the advantages of genetic engineering in terms of morality and ethics, I can only say that the more we create, the more problems we will have in the long run in trying to solve them. Life has evolved on this planet into a delicately balanced and fragile network of self-sustaining interactions and equilibrium (Sinsheimer 1987). If we try to change or replace the creatures and vegetation of this earth with human-designed forms to conform to human will, I believe we will forget our origins and inadvertently collapse the ecological system in which we were found.
Moreover, do we really want to assume the full responsibility for the structure and make-up of our world? I think that we seriously need to intervene between the scientists and engineers to consider a solution that will help slow down all of these experiments so that we could step back and look at what we are doing.
If not, I think that these practicing scientists and researchers should be more broadly educated in our humanistic values and traditions. They need to understand the implications of what they are doing in order to be able to balance the concerns of the natural environment and that of society's humanistic needs; to bear in mind that technology exists only to serve and not create.
END NOTE
Human beings, are of course, sprung from the same DNA and built of the same molecules as all other livings things. But if we begin to regard ourselves as just another group of subjects to test our experiments on by altering or tampering with the foods we eat, just like another crop to be engineered or another breed to be perfected, we will surely lose our awe of humanity and undermine all sense of human dignity.
The use of genetic engineering in agriculture and food production has an impact, not only on the environment and biodiversity, but also on human health. Therefore, thorough biosafety assessment requires, not only an evaluation of environmental impacts of genetically engineered organisms, but also an assessment of the risks that genetically engineered food pose for the health of consumers. Let us take deeper look at some of the aspects related to genetically engineered foods.
Earth's Cry
Boooom! Booom!
A massive destructive sound awakened Maria one morning. Followed by the shaking of the ground, she tries to get up from the bed to get ready for school. Mining has started again in their town and scene like this is no longer a surprise to them. Almost three fourths of the hill has already been literally flattened and miner’s job seems not yet done.
Crasshhh... creaaak... rrumble...
Big rocks and trunk of woods toppled down the slope. Destruction of our natural resources and mass consumption of fossil fuels lead to global warming and extreme climate phenomena. In fact, the year 2005 was recorded as the hottest in recorded history and over the past century human industrial and agricultural activities have started to the build-up of carbon dioxide and greenhouse gases which traps earth’s outgoing radiation leading to an enhanced greenhouse effect and a warmer earth.
Education is still an effective vehicle for bringing global warming into our collective consciousness. Knowing the how’s and why’s of our mother earth could lead to better understanding about frightening warm weather, extreme floods, extinction of animals, and even melting of the polar ice caps. Youth plays an important role on mobilization of everyone.
Whoosshh…
Don’t let Maria’s dream of a cool fresh breeze of air be a dream forever. Working together with our peers and the community can address the problem of our mother earth. This is the role of youth-led initiatives in the green economy. Young people are not only the future, they are also the now. More than 45% of the world’s population is under 25, with 1.3 billion young people living in developing countries. Over the last two years, consultations and research work with youths have demonstrated that they can make a difference in fighting earth’s destruction through their actions and advocacy activities in youth organizations. Youths are key agents of change.
Roaar… croaak… tweeet…
Nature’s harmonious sounds, do we still hear these today? Or the future lies on the ipod’s and flat screen TV’s just to experience these natural wonders.
Ticktock... ticktock...
Earth’s clock is running out and its calling everyone’s attention before it is too late. Climate change is one of the biggest threats of our time, like a big bomb waiting to explode, don’t let this happen to the world we live in. The alarm of hope is ringing and it’s calling our awareness, this is the perfect time to act now before it’s too late. Solutions are lying within the hands of our future generations. Green economy such as environmentally sustainable enterprises, technological innovations (new sources of clean renewable energy), energy efficiency measures, etc... Youth can contribute! And yes! There is hope for Maria and her town.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
The art of letting go
“We often fool ourselves and say that it’s love
only cause when it’s gone, we end up being lonely
So how are we to know that it just wasn’t so
That we have to let each other go…”
Its over… she’s gone…
Why do we have to part while the love is still there? Why do we have to suffer? Why do we have to cry when someone bids goodbye? Why do beginning has an end? Why do we have to meet only to loose in the end?
There are questions left unanswered, words left unsaid, letters left undone, songs left unsung, love left unexpressed, promises left unfulfilled.
In a relationship, one of the hardest things to do is saying goodbye and letting go. It is as hard as breaking crystal because you’ll never know when you’ll be able to pick up the pieces again. More often than not, they who go feel not the pain of parting: it is they who stay behind that suffer because they are left with memories of a love that was meant to be… a love that was.
“There are times when we share precious moments
but later realized they are only stolen moments
So how are we to know that it’s just wasn’t so
That we just let each other go…”
At the beginning and at the end of a relationship, we are embarrassed to find ourselves alone. Unfair as if they may seem, but that’s the way love goes. That’s drama, the bitter sweet and risk of falling in love. After all, nothing is constant but change, everything will eventually come to an end without asking when, without knowing how without why. And we must forget not because we want to but because we hate to.
In letting go, sorrows come not as a single spy but in battalion. It seems that everywhere you go, every song you sing, every turn of your head, every move of your body, every beat of your heart, every blink of your eyes and every breath you take, it always reminds you of her. Its like a stab of knife, torture in the night. Funny how the whole world becomes depopulated when only one person is missing. Just imagine there are four billion people on earth and yet it seems you only feel lonely and empty without the other.
I don’t know if it’s worth calling an art, but letting go entails special skills sparkle with considerable space and time. Time heals all wounds but it takes a little push on our part. Acceptance plays a part. Not all wishes do come true. No all love stories end with “and they live happily ever after.”
Sometimes we have to part because of circumstances beyond our control. We have to suffer if it would mean happiness for others. We have to cry temporarily to let go of the pains. Every beginning has its end like every dawn has its dusk. It’s something we can’t control, something we have to live up.
Its over… she’s gone…
But life has to go on. Goodbye doesn’t mean forever. There will always be a place and time where questions will be answered, words will be spoken, letters will read, poems will be recited in the night, songs will be sang in harmony, love will be expressed in solitude and promises will be fulfilled. Somewhere. Somehow. Someday.
“if loving you is all that means to me,
and being happy is all I hope you’ll be.
If loving you must mean,
I really have to set you free…”
- spongebob