I’m Back!

Its 2020! Ang bilis ng panahon.. kapag binibisita ko itong blog ko bumabalik lahat ng memories ko noon.. napaka nostalgic.. 

Fun with names

1.Real Name: Rolly Bagamano Caidic

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 4 letters of your name + zzie)

rollzzie

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)

green dog!

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street)

bagamano quesada

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 3 letters of mom's name)

cairolia

6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink)

red juice???

7. IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name)

Roiblvro

8. MONUMENT NAME: (fathers or mothers middle name)

blanco

9. GOTH NAME: (3rd favorite color, and the name of one your pets)

white cutie

10. SCREEN NAME: (any of your tv's brand and your mom's middle name)

sharp bagamano

some facebook facts

owkie i don't have one (haha) but here's some infos u might be interested with

Special child

Kung iisipin ano nga ba mapapala ko sa panonood ng mga special child sa plaza.. Naimagine ko lang di naman nakakamangha makikita ko dun.. Pero dala ng aking curiosity at pagkabagot sa bahay sinubukan kong sumilip sa plaza tutal malapit lang kame dun at ilang araw nren naririnig ko un sa ate ko na iba iba daw pinapalabas nila sa entablado..

Bumungad sa aking ang iba iba itsura ng special child.. May ilang masaya sa kanilang suot, yun iba excited na at nagpapa picture pa.. meron din iba na parang di alam ang nangyyare sa paligid .. Tinitigan ko mga suot nila.. Walang ispesyal o naiiba sa kanilang gagawin iyon ang impresyon ko sa sarili..

Tutal wala naman akong gagawin sa bahay di na siguro masama ang mapanood ko ang kahit unang parte ng programa.. Kahit parang alam kong mejo maiinip ako sa aking mapapanood..

Nagsimulang magsalita ang mga emcee.. Masiglang masigla sila.. Nsa loob ko pilit lang nila pinasasaya ang pagsasalita para khit papano mabigyang buhay ang boring na programa nila.. Alam naman ng lahat na prang wala lang un gagawin nila dun..

Tumambad sa akin ang inaasahan kong mapapanood n mga special child.. Di alam ang gagawin.. Mayroong kung saan saan lumalakad.. Un isa ay natutuwa sa reaksyon ng tao.. Meron din namang nahihiya.. Karamihan inaalalayan pa ng volunteer na makaikot sa stage..

Ngunit ang nakikita ng aking mata ay iba sa nararamdaman ng aking puso.. Kinurot nito ang aking kalooban..

Tinagalan ko pa ang panonood s plaza.. Pinagtitiyagaan ng aking mata pero pilit pumapaibabaw ang sinasabi ng aking damdamin.. Ang kanilang galaw na karaniwang aasahang kilos ng isang special child ay iba ang kahulugan sa aking puso.. Ang kakatuwa nilang galaw ay halos kayang unawain ng aking dibdib.. Lumayo ako sa aking unang sarili.. Biglang nangibabaw sa akin ang kakaibang impresyon na hindi ko inaasahang maramdman bago ako pumunta sa plaza.. Bagkus na maawa isa ang aking napatunayan - respeto at paghanga..

Npatunayan kong Normal tayo s mga pisikal n aspeto pero pgdating s emosyonal n katayuan di tayo naiiba sa kanila.. Tulad nila kung meron s ating "normal" n malakas ang loob humarap s tao at ang iba ay takot lumakad man lng s entablado ganon din silang kung tawagin ng iba'y "abnormal".. Nakita ko ang aking sarili n hindi iba sa kanilang emosyon.. Nkkaramdam din sila ng kaba, takot, saya, hiya o gulat.. At lhat ng iyon npatunayan ko s minsang gabi n pinanood ko rumampa ang mga batang ito s harap ng mga tao s paete..

Binago ng mga batang ito ang pagkakilala ko sa nakakahong pagtingin sa kanila.. Dapat pa rin ba silang tawaging abnormal kung gayong di sila nalalayo sa ating aspetong emosyonal? Sapat ba silang kaawaan na lamang at huwag pahalagahan?

Hindi sapat na husgahan sila sa kanilang kakulangan sa pisikal at kaisipan na kalagayan.. Bagkus laliman pa natin ang ating pagkilala sa kanila at nararapat lamang n tuklasin kung ano ang dapat nating pahalagahan at pagyamanin nilang natatanging talento at kakayahan..


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Kaibigan ng Tito

Dumalaw ang tito q s isang kaibigan minsan mpadpad kme a sta cruz.. Exited xa mkita ang dting kaklase n balita nya ay isa nang dean.. Mtgal din cla di ngkita dhil s haba ng panahong di umuwi ng pilipinas ang tito at s new york lng nag lagi upang magturo.. Natutuwa cya n mkita ang kaibigan at mpatunayan s sarili n mataas n nga ang nrating ng knyang kaklase.. Ngunit ikinagulat nyang retired n pla ang kaibigan nyang dating dean.. Hinanap nya s skul n yon ang kaibigang dean at khit ang guard ay di n ito matandaan khit ang pangalan man lng..Maswerte pa pla sya nang may mkausap na dating guro doon at iyon ang nagsabi kung nsaan n ang hinahanap ni tito at ano n ang kalagayan.. Nsa bahay nlng at doon naglalagi.. Doon ko npatunayan s sarili eto:

Pwede k mg aral at mging matagumpay s iyong lrangang propesyunal pero pag retirado ka nalhat ng bgay n un mbbalewala at iiwan mo rin.. Ktulad k nlng ng karaniwang retiradong empleyado nsa bahay at ngppalipas ng oras.. Ngunit ang pgkkaroon ng pamilya yan ang bagay n hngang s kmatayan mo alam mong bagay n di mbabalewala at di maiiwan ng panahon


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2009 Lumban Anilag Dress Rehearsal

Her Name

Yes it’s over, but she’s never gone...
Might fallback but I won’t abandon
All traces of her keep me holding on
Righteous love never dies for it reckon

Regretting her is not the solution
All that is left is an unanswered hope
Mark of forgiveness and elucidation
Yet delusional that love never slope

Amity of chances is for us with faith
Remained tranquil in our silent trait
Yesterday’s a past, tomorrow’s a bait
Much happiness for her is what I wait

Memories of her preoccupy my mind
Yearning her sweet smile and hair wind
Render those eyes, breathe my existence
Awe of her shove me into intense eloquence

The art of letting go

“We often fool ourselves and say that it’s love

only cause when it’s gone, we end up being lonely

So how are we to know that it just wasn’t so

That we have to let each other go…”

Its over… she’s gone…

Why do we have to part while the love is still there? Why do we have to suffer? Why do we have to cry when someone bids goodbye? Why do beginning has an end? Why do we have to meet only to loose in the end?

There are questions left unanswered, words left unsaid, letters left undone, songs left unsung, love left unexpressed, promises left unfulfilled.

In a relationship, one of the hardest things to do is saying goodbye and letting go. It is as hard as breaking crystal because you’ll never know when you’ll be able to pick up the pieces again. More often than not, they who go feel not the pain of parting: it is they who stay behind that suffer because they are left with memories of a love that was meant to be… a love that was.

“There are times when we share precious moments

but later realized they are only stolen moments

So how are we to know that it’s just wasn’t so

That we just let each other go…”

At the beginning and at the end of a relationship, we are embarrassed to find ourselves alone. Unfair as if they may seem, but that’s the way love goes. That’s drama, the bitter sweet and risk of falling in love. After all, nothing is constant but change, everything will eventually come to an end without asking when, without knowing how without why. And we must forget not because we want to but because we hate to.

In letting go, sorrows come not as a single spy but in battalion. It seems that everywhere you go, every song you sing, every turn of your head, every move of your body, every beat of your heart, every blink of your eyes and every breath you take, it always reminds you of her. Its like a stab of knife, torture in the night. Funny how the whole world becomes depopulated when only one person is missing. Just imagine there are four billion people on earth and yet it seems you only feel lonely and empty without the other.

I don’t know if it’s worth calling an art, but letting go entails special skills sparkle with considerable space and time. Time heals all wounds but it takes a little push on our part. Acceptance plays a part. Not all wishes do come true. No all love stories end with “and they live happily ever after.”

Sometimes we have to part because of circumstances beyond our control. We have to suffer if it would mean happiness for others. We have to cry temporarily to let go of the pains. Every beginning has its end like every dawn has its dusk. It’s something we can’t control, something we have to live up.

Its over… she’s gone…

But life has to go on. Goodbye doesn’t mean forever. There will always be a place and time where questions will be answered, words will be spoken, letters will read, poems will be recited in the night, songs will be sang in harmony, love will be expressed in solitude and promises will be fulfilled. Somewhere. Somehow. Someday.

“if loving you is all that means to me,

and being happy is all I hope you’ll be.

If loving you must mean,

I really have to set you free…”

- spongebob

Nung maconfine si nanay

Bata p ako nung mamatay si tatay mga grade 3 sa pagkakantanda ko at malaki pagkawala nya sa aming pamilya..

Sa musmos kong pag akap sa aming kalagayan nagkaroon ako ng takot para sa aking nanay.. Tila ginulat ako sa katotohanang maari itong mangyari sa kanya o sa kahit na sinong aking mahal sa buhay..

Ayaw kong aminin sa sarili kong mangyayari ito pwedeng ngayon, pwedeng bukas o pwedeng sa susunod na panahon pero sa aking pagkukubli sa isip ay lumalabas naman sa aking kilos at gawa..

Tuwing gabi sinasadya kong di agad matulog at bagkus ay hihintayin ko munang mauna matulog ang aking nanay.. Sa kanyang pagkakahiga at mahimbing na pagkakatulog ay dahan dahan kong lalapitan at tititigan ang kanyang dibdib..

Tanong ko pa sa sarili ko noon kung humihinga ba siya? Tumataas baba ba ang kanyang dibdib senyales na siya ay maayos n humihinga? Di pa ako makukuntento at dahan dahan akong lalapit at itatapat ang aking darili sa kanyang ilong upang maramdaman ang hangin n lumalabas pasok sa kanyang baga.. Tinangka ko pang pakinggan ang pagtibok ng kanyang puso ngunit bigo akong magawa ito sapagkat natatakot akong magising si nanay.. Di ko alam ang isasagot ko kung sakaling mahuli nya ako sa ginagawa ko..

Kasabay noon ang aking pagtitig ng mariin sa itsura ng aking ina at tila kinukumbinsi kong masigla at buhay n buhay ang aking nanay sa mga sandaling iyon.. Ilang minuto ko ito ginagawa gabi gabi bago matulog noong bata pa ako.. Tila pilit kong kumbinsihin ang sarili kong di n pwede maulit ang nangyari sa aking tatay at sa murang edad ko ay iyon na ang tanging paraan kong magagawa upang masiguradong di na maaring mangyari uli ang katotohanang tumatakot sa akin..

Simula noon namulat n ako sa katotohanang ang buhay ay mayroong hanganan.. Binuksan nito ang aking murang isip sa reyalidad na walang kasiguraduhan ang bukas at ang mga susunod na araw.. Nabatid kong mas mahalaga ang kasalukuyan kumpara s hinaharap at mas dapat kong pahalagahan ang pagkakataong ngayon na aking tinatamasa..

Sa murang isipan kong iyon lahat bumungad sa aking ang mga karanasang pilit magpahinog sa aking katauhan at gayundin kung paano ko tingnan ang buhay..

Sa pagkakataong ito ay nakaharap muli ako sa aking nanay.. Tila bumalik ako sa aking pagkabata at parang musmos n nakatitig sa kanyang pagkakahiga sa kama ng hospital.. Bumabalik ang multo ng aking nakaraan.. Muli kong kinukumbinsi ang sarili kong may magagawa na ako.. Di na ako tulad ng dating napakamurang edad at halos walang magawa kundi ang tumitig at magbantay sa pagkakahimbing na tulog ng aking nanay..

Siguro nga ngayon ay mas matapang na ako at mas siguradong kayang harapin ang hinaharap.. Nagbago na nga ako ngayon pero isa parin ang katotohanang di ko malulusutan.. Ito ay ang reyalidad na hindi nagbabago ang panahon.. Ang aral ng kahapon ay buhay na buhay at nagbabanta sa akin..

Ginigising ako ng aking ulirat na maaring di pa huli ang lahat.. Mayroon pa akong magagawa sa upang iliko ang hamon ng buhay.. Nanlalamig ang aking talampakan at parang magpapawis ang aking kamay.. Kilos! Kabog ng aking dibdib.. Kilos! Sigaw ng aking isip.. Kilos! utos ng aking katawan..Nagkakasundo ang tatlong bulong sa aking kalooban.. Kailangan ko nang kumilos at gumawa ng paraan.. Hindi simpleng pagkakataong lamang ito na mapunta sa hospital ang aking nanay.. Ito ay isang maagang pagbabadya ng maaring kaharapin ko balang araw..

Yayakapin ko na ang hamon ng kasalukuyan... paghahandaan ko na ang banta ng hinaharap.. Marahil totoong walang kasiguraduhan ang bukas ngunit kaya ko pa itong baluktutin at iligaw..




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Bigat-10 Reunion Batch 97

our 10th anniversary reunion video-pictures. very fun!

story of my money

It’s all about the money!!!!

I was fully charged and energetic this morning. I slept early for the first time when DSL is not yet invading our pc at home. So I was so exited to see all my carpenters working continuously and to my surprise! Its past 8am and only Mang Vino the assistant is only around!!! WTF! WHERE ARE THE CARPENTERS! Screaming inside my head… I tried to said this to the good old carpenter’s assistant that he may leave and return AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE TOMORROW. And I hope he catches that line… I was fucking stressed to my surprise that everyone is so ‘palagay’ with everything when everything is a mess.

Later that morning my head teacher texted me salary is here… well what a great timing! I can have the whole morning free going around places. Never did even thought of taking a bath crash to the school. Met the principal wammy and get my salary. Before I left the school I settled everything. I gave ‘reseta’ inside the class cards indicating the credits of my wonderful (sucks!) students. Then did some forms, thanks to mam rexy filling out my performance rating now I just had to sign those.

Now im going to sta cruz to get the money sent my mother and so the story of my money goes…

Part one

I check out big bucks how much their rate is. Said 41.75. in paete its 41.35 so I thought I can save a lot with that (big buck’s rate). I ran to RCPI to get the money. I released the money in dollars for the first time. Now im learning!!... hahah

I got around 20,000 bucks I thought enough to finish the house renovation. Then I go to sta cruz joy enterprises and bought some electrical stuff for my upcoming brand new air conditioner. It costs around 2, 300.

When I got home I paid my sister 1,700 for the credits I made yesterday. Coz I got short when metrobank was offline lunchtime I siniloan.

In munisipyo I met beth the imperial rep to show me some air cons and some nice appliances. What I have in mind are washing machine and air con. Cutting my money story short I ordered one unit of the breezy thingy and swirly thingy for 5, 700 including the downpayment one month advance to avoid the CI shows and delivery fee. Anyway the spaghetti is nice free from the paete municipal office. Good timing though. I also pay ate mhey 500. thanks tamhey!

Then, obeth the sober showed up wanting to shovel all of their hardworks for the past week. I carefully computed all of their salary then take off their advance which equals to 3,700 bucks. All goes to the three of them!

Now summing up all my money’s journey to other people’s pocket. I will be running out of money before the house gets its final touch. I will be short big time on this. Anyways,
always think positive! I’ve always wanted a decent, simple but a house that I can be proud of and tell to everyone. A house, which I can announce as a landmark. At the end of the day, its always between me and my house. And it’s a nice thing to think that you have something that you can really call your territory. I get inspired seeing my co-teachers’ houses when they tell a story about it, laugh about it, and dream about it. Now I can share mine as well.

about our house

It has been a sleepless week for me. And marina is still swimming around the television while im in front of my turtle pc for some updates and probably making the most out of my new DSL! Whaha… this is what we call as ‘sabik’. i slept for 3 hours then waited for the carpenters then sleep again. Never mind all those noise.

Yeah! Speaking of carpenters… we are now renovating our house.
Let me describe ours. Its an old ancestral house of my late father. Made of stone on the first floor then wood on the second floor. After my father and my uncle ige passed away. My tita luming and tita virgie were left probably hanging coz they are single.. matandang dalaga.. so my superhero mother came to the rescue I think. She ‘suklian’ the house and lot.

Three years ago the house is not fully divided. Problem is there is only one stairs. So some problems usually occurs. Like the veryy cute cuteee. Wtf! That little angel like my auntie would say brings terror to us! As doctors said. She has scabies and yucks!! Even my pamangkin has too. Oohh thanks to that angelz..

So let me describe what is going on in our house right now. While im in front of my pc and while everything moves around me:

1. we mixed the rooms with my tita. Moving my things to sister’s room just to give way for the repairing of the room where I will transfer.
2. there is a big hole almost in the middle of our house right now. It’s the site of my precious tita’s stairs. I hope no one get hurt especially my precious tita. Yeah right! Keeping my fingerz crossed.
3. my katokayo ‘rolly’ the 320-a-day-slow-carpenter is making all that noise making my room. Imagine spending all week just making my room’s walling and not yet the ceiling.
4. thanks to obet the-350-a-day-fast-head-carpenter is doing most of the work. He is now going to the plainer to do the stair way to heaven of my auntie. They requested to do the plainer to make it lovelier.
5. now I don’t know where to dump the good old refrigerator and the rusty washing machine. Well im planning to place the washyyy machyyy at the side of our house. I will renovate that too.
6. later on I hope they put the new poste for the support of the new division.
7. yesterday I run to the atm to get some money. Mother lily is not yet sending. Then this afternoon I will get to the RCPI to fetch some more money. Really spending way too high and to think 30,000 was gone with the wind just for the materials alone!
8. now im thinking of matmas to carry over the expenses, ohh no I won’t!!! I have a big plan for the money ohh I hope I wont get help from them. No no!
9. hey thenks to my sister who help out cleaning the dishes and cooking the rice and keeping aniel out of site of the carpentaz. Realy dangerous with a kid around. Promise! Hey thanks to johnmarie as well my pamangkin here. A little help means a lot to us.

Baywatch

Baywatch

Now the arctic zephyr guzzled up my skin
As I freely drift on an agape sea of Real Quezon

My body is wavering against the tide and the wind
Eyes are jammed with the playful blue sky and white cloud

My ears are hauled by the hushed water around my face
As I lie down floating on the timid ocean space

Salty sea mists squish around my chilly lips
And in my nose the blue green depths of water collapse

My first leg of fully packed month of May starts with our barkada’s annual outing in real, Quezon. It almost neared the edge of vagueness when proposed schedules did not fit everyone’s calendar. Thank’s to kuya tino’s (who wanted to be called Arvin) resources he phoned up everyone on his phonebook just to settle things down. What a great timing when agie (which was hired that day) knew a new and better place we could held the outing – Baywatch! We (agie and me) arrived as soon as everyone’s brains blew out after letting them wait for us for 3 agonizing hours. I understand… The pack of wolves is there… charisma, sir lem, tino, and bitoy. They almost devoured us with their eyes! We decided to just rent a room since ranel will come the next day.

Long wait evaporates away when we reached the long end of the rainbow. To my surprise… There’s a pot of gold! Literally, the sand is perfect, the facilities are nice, service is ok and the weather is inviting. We rushed to grilling area before hitting the dark sea floor.

The following days are filled with out bursting laughter, laughter and laughter up to the brim. Beers and wines poured out every night as we serenade the dark sky intertwined with stories of life and love. We literally filled the room spaces with no gap especially during sleeping hours. That’s part of the fun and how our boredom fades away.

Now that’s what you call a vacation. A celebration of life. An escape from life’s black-tainted ordure. Vacation day may end but the memories live on. That is our life’s bivouacs after a day of enduring our obstacle course. Our little escape from reality. It’s nice to know that at the end of the day there are friends residing inside your heart which you can withdraw strengths, inspirations and desires.

For Agie, Charisma, Sir Lem, Kuya Tino, Kuya Bitoy and Ranel.