Special child

Kung iisipin ano nga ba mapapala ko sa panonood ng mga special child sa plaza.. Naimagine ko lang di naman nakakamangha makikita ko dun.. Pero dala ng aking curiosity at pagkabagot sa bahay sinubukan kong sumilip sa plaza tutal malapit lang kame dun at ilang araw nren naririnig ko un sa ate ko na iba iba daw pinapalabas nila sa entablado..

Bumungad sa aking ang iba iba itsura ng special child.. May ilang masaya sa kanilang suot, yun iba excited na at nagpapa picture pa.. meron din iba na parang di alam ang nangyyare sa paligid .. Tinitigan ko mga suot nila.. Walang ispesyal o naiiba sa kanilang gagawin iyon ang impresyon ko sa sarili..

Tutal wala naman akong gagawin sa bahay di na siguro masama ang mapanood ko ang kahit unang parte ng programa.. Kahit parang alam kong mejo maiinip ako sa aking mapapanood..

Nagsimulang magsalita ang mga emcee.. Masiglang masigla sila.. Nsa loob ko pilit lang nila pinasasaya ang pagsasalita para khit papano mabigyang buhay ang boring na programa nila.. Alam naman ng lahat na prang wala lang un gagawin nila dun..

Tumambad sa akin ang inaasahan kong mapapanood n mga special child.. Di alam ang gagawin.. Mayroong kung saan saan lumalakad.. Un isa ay natutuwa sa reaksyon ng tao.. Meron din namang nahihiya.. Karamihan inaalalayan pa ng volunteer na makaikot sa stage..

Ngunit ang nakikita ng aking mata ay iba sa nararamdaman ng aking puso.. Kinurot nito ang aking kalooban..

Tinagalan ko pa ang panonood s plaza.. Pinagtitiyagaan ng aking mata pero pilit pumapaibabaw ang sinasabi ng aking damdamin.. Ang kanilang galaw na karaniwang aasahang kilos ng isang special child ay iba ang kahulugan sa aking puso.. Ang kakatuwa nilang galaw ay halos kayang unawain ng aking dibdib.. Lumayo ako sa aking unang sarili.. Biglang nangibabaw sa akin ang kakaibang impresyon na hindi ko inaasahang maramdman bago ako pumunta sa plaza.. Bagkus na maawa isa ang aking napatunayan - respeto at paghanga..

Npatunayan kong Normal tayo s mga pisikal n aspeto pero pgdating s emosyonal n katayuan di tayo naiiba sa kanila.. Tulad nila kung meron s ating "normal" n malakas ang loob humarap s tao at ang iba ay takot lumakad man lng s entablado ganon din silang kung tawagin ng iba'y "abnormal".. Nakita ko ang aking sarili n hindi iba sa kanilang emosyon.. Nkkaramdam din sila ng kaba, takot, saya, hiya o gulat.. At lhat ng iyon npatunayan ko s minsang gabi n pinanood ko rumampa ang mga batang ito s harap ng mga tao s paete..

Binago ng mga batang ito ang pagkakilala ko sa nakakahong pagtingin sa kanila.. Dapat pa rin ba silang tawaging abnormal kung gayong di sila nalalayo sa ating aspetong emosyonal? Sapat ba silang kaawaan na lamang at huwag pahalagahan?

Hindi sapat na husgahan sila sa kanilang kakulangan sa pisikal at kaisipan na kalagayan.. Bagkus laliman pa natin ang ating pagkilala sa kanila at nararapat lamang n tuklasin kung ano ang dapat nating pahalagahan at pagyamanin nilang natatanging talento at kakayahan..


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Kaibigan ng Tito

Dumalaw ang tito q s isang kaibigan minsan mpadpad kme a sta cruz.. Exited xa mkita ang dting kaklase n balita nya ay isa nang dean.. Mtgal din cla di ngkita dhil s haba ng panahong di umuwi ng pilipinas ang tito at s new york lng nag lagi upang magturo.. Natutuwa cya n mkita ang kaibigan at mpatunayan s sarili n mataas n nga ang nrating ng knyang kaklase.. Ngunit ikinagulat nyang retired n pla ang kaibigan nyang dating dean.. Hinanap nya s skul n yon ang kaibigang dean at khit ang guard ay di n ito matandaan khit ang pangalan man lng..Maswerte pa pla sya nang may mkausap na dating guro doon at iyon ang nagsabi kung nsaan n ang hinahanap ni tito at ano n ang kalagayan.. Nsa bahay nlng at doon naglalagi.. Doon ko npatunayan s sarili eto:

Pwede k mg aral at mging matagumpay s iyong lrangang propesyunal pero pag retirado ka nalhat ng bgay n un mbbalewala at iiwan mo rin.. Ktulad k nlng ng karaniwang retiradong empleyado nsa bahay at ngppalipas ng oras.. Ngunit ang pgkkaroon ng pamilya yan ang bagay n hngang s kmatayan mo alam mong bagay n di mbabalewala at di maiiwan ng panahon


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my cranial outputz, his cardiac throbz

Sadness fills my empty space as i glare through his heart's summons.

Longing to ease his agony somehow.

I drenched with him in midnight rain. Perilous love puts everything in jeopardy.

I crave to witness the sun shines back at him.

Exorbitant friendship is all I could offer.

Hoping this would tranquil his wounded heart...
For my buddy, whose heart is at apathy of sheer love.


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Never loose your grip with love for it will find you no matter what. If your heart is nowhere to be found just wait until time let it flies back into you.


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Monotony of life builds unbalanced being. It entomb one's self in lampoon of hapiness. Friends cease to ease this shanty of isolation. I thank you for taking this part.


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Choosing chances are only limited to those who conceived of loosing. Never quit in life for it must go on no matter how hard it is. May you have more sucess in life.


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As i track my way to school. Tracing those paths that once we've taken. Leaving my nest for i have to strugle for life. Until this afternoon we'll cross our paths once more.


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Memories are engravings of a heart made of gold. For we are the artist that effluence shinning smiles. Every rivulet of happy moments spurt out into an ocean of treasures. May this day carved another impressions on gleaming heart.


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I may not at your side at times of sadness. I may not right there to wipe away those tears but one thing i can assure you... Every heart aches you keep inside crashes me from within, every tears falling down from your face drowns me tremendously, every agony and pain you feel devours me slowly as well.


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An empty heart is what he is... Strugling to find a relationship that's true. Like an ocean of scapes with an endless path. Compass his heart to break the hiatus of scarce. He's a scavenger of love, life and friendship. Take every chances of it and cherish them all.

Nung maconfine si nanay

Bata p ako nung mamatay si tatay mga grade 3 sa pagkakantanda ko at malaki pagkawala nya sa aming pamilya..

Sa musmos kong pag akap sa aming kalagayan nagkaroon ako ng takot para sa aking nanay.. Tila ginulat ako sa katotohanang maari itong mangyari sa kanya o sa kahit na sinong aking mahal sa buhay..

Ayaw kong aminin sa sarili kong mangyayari ito pwedeng ngayon, pwedeng bukas o pwedeng sa susunod na panahon pero sa aking pagkukubli sa isip ay lumalabas naman sa aking kilos at gawa..

Tuwing gabi sinasadya kong di agad matulog at bagkus ay hihintayin ko munang mauna matulog ang aking nanay.. Sa kanyang pagkakahiga at mahimbing na pagkakatulog ay dahan dahan kong lalapitan at tititigan ang kanyang dibdib..

Tanong ko pa sa sarili ko noon kung humihinga ba siya? Tumataas baba ba ang kanyang dibdib senyales na siya ay maayos n humihinga? Di pa ako makukuntento at dahan dahan akong lalapit at itatapat ang aking darili sa kanyang ilong upang maramdaman ang hangin n lumalabas pasok sa kanyang baga.. Tinangka ko pang pakinggan ang pagtibok ng kanyang puso ngunit bigo akong magawa ito sapagkat natatakot akong magising si nanay.. Di ko alam ang isasagot ko kung sakaling mahuli nya ako sa ginagawa ko..

Kasabay noon ang aking pagtitig ng mariin sa itsura ng aking ina at tila kinukumbinsi kong masigla at buhay n buhay ang aking nanay sa mga sandaling iyon.. Ilang minuto ko ito ginagawa gabi gabi bago matulog noong bata pa ako.. Tila pilit kong kumbinsihin ang sarili kong di n pwede maulit ang nangyari sa aking tatay at sa murang edad ko ay iyon na ang tanging paraan kong magagawa upang masiguradong di na maaring mangyari uli ang katotohanang tumatakot sa akin..

Simula noon namulat n ako sa katotohanang ang buhay ay mayroong hanganan.. Binuksan nito ang aking murang isip sa reyalidad na walang kasiguraduhan ang bukas at ang mga susunod na araw.. Nabatid kong mas mahalaga ang kasalukuyan kumpara s hinaharap at mas dapat kong pahalagahan ang pagkakataong ngayon na aking tinatamasa..

Sa murang isipan kong iyon lahat bumungad sa aking ang mga karanasang pilit magpahinog sa aking katauhan at gayundin kung paano ko tingnan ang buhay..

Sa pagkakataong ito ay nakaharap muli ako sa aking nanay.. Tila bumalik ako sa aking pagkabata at parang musmos n nakatitig sa kanyang pagkakahiga sa kama ng hospital.. Bumabalik ang multo ng aking nakaraan.. Muli kong kinukumbinsi ang sarili kong may magagawa na ako.. Di na ako tulad ng dating napakamurang edad at halos walang magawa kundi ang tumitig at magbantay sa pagkakahimbing na tulog ng aking nanay..

Siguro nga ngayon ay mas matapang na ako at mas siguradong kayang harapin ang hinaharap.. Nagbago na nga ako ngayon pero isa parin ang katotohanang di ko malulusutan.. Ito ay ang reyalidad na hindi nagbabago ang panahon.. Ang aral ng kahapon ay buhay na buhay at nagbabanta sa akin..

Ginigising ako ng aking ulirat na maaring di pa huli ang lahat.. Mayroon pa akong magagawa sa upang iliko ang hamon ng buhay.. Nanlalamig ang aking talampakan at parang magpapawis ang aking kamay.. Kilos! Kabog ng aking dibdib.. Kilos! Sigaw ng aking isip.. Kilos! utos ng aking katawan..Nagkakasundo ang tatlong bulong sa aking kalooban.. Kailangan ko nang kumilos at gumawa ng paraan.. Hindi simpleng pagkakataong lamang ito na mapunta sa hospital ang aking nanay.. Ito ay isang maagang pagbabadya ng maaring kaharapin ko balang araw..

Yayakapin ko na ang hamon ng kasalukuyan... paghahandaan ko na ang banta ng hinaharap.. Marahil totoong walang kasiguraduhan ang bukas ngunit kaya ko pa itong baluktutin at iligaw..




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The Daffodil Principle

The Daffodil Principle

Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead. "I will come next Tuesday", I promised a little reluctantly on her third call.

Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and reluctantly I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house, I was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children. I delightedly hugged and greeted my grandchildren.

"Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in these clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see badly enough to drive another inch!"

My daughter smiled calmly and said, "We drive in this all the time, Mother."

"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears, and then I'm heading for home!" I assured her.

"But first we're going to see the daffodils. It's just a few blocks," Carolyn said. "I'll drive. I'm used to this." "Carolyn," I said sternly, "Please turn around."

"It's all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."
After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church, I saw a hand lettered sign with an arrow that read, " Daffodil Garden ." We got out of the car, each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path.

Then, as we turned a corner, I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight.

It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, and saffron and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.

"Who did this?" I asked Carolyn.

"Just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the property. That's her home." Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house, small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house.

On the patio, we saw a poster. "Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking", was the headline. The first answer was a simple one. " 50,000 bulbs," it read. The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one brain." The third answer was, "Began in 1958."

For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop. Planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. One day at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration.

That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time--often just one baby-step at a time--and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world …"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn. "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five or forty years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years? Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. "Start tomorrow," she said.

She was right. It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, "How can I put this to use today?"

Use the Daffodil Principle. Stop waiting.....
Until your car or home is paid off
Until you get a new car or home
Until your kids leave the house
Until you go back to school
Until you finish school
Until you clean the house
Until you organize the garage
Until you clean off your desk
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married
Until you get a divorce
Until you have kids
Until the kids go to school
Until you retire
Until summer
Until spring
Until winter
Until fall
Until you die...

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

So work like you don't need money. Love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching.

If you want to brighten some one's day, pass this on to someone special. I just did!

Wishing you a beautiful, daffodil day!Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.